Self Hypnosis for Dating Confidence

All hot women are attracted to guys with high levels of confidence and self esteem.

If you lack confidence, i.e. you get insecure around women in general or just particularly hot women, then you need to enhance your confidence as part of your self-improvement program that is necessary to attract lots of women over the long run.

Women love it when a man improves himself without external force. In other words self motivated attitude to be better and better goes a long way in developing the attitude that high quality women just can't resist. This will make your dating life much much easier.

Any insecurities you may have around women can be significantly reduced if you focus your mind regularly on positive affirmations and thoughts that lead to you being more confident, open and affectionate with women.

Extract from WebMD about hypnosis:

Hypnosis is merely a tool -- a technique to tap into the subconscious, says Oster, who heads the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis.

No pocket watches are involved and no one clucks like a chicken afterward.

In fact hypnosis is a state of concentration and focused attention. With it the mind can be more powerful. You simply have slipped into your subconscious.

In a hypnotherapist's office, you can learn self-hypnosis. Don't worry, you won't lose control. You won't do anything against your will. "No one takes away our choice under any conditions -- no one can make you do anything you wouldn't normally do," says Jane Ann Covington, a hypnotist in Atlanta and founder of the Hypnosis Institute International Center for Developing Mastery.

In hypnosis, you don't even lose consciousness, Covington tells WebMD.

Read more at WebMd's article "Hypnosis Goes Mainstream". Learn more about hypnosis from WebMD here.

The following videos use an advanced sound technology called Binaural Beats that help you relax deeply so you can access a more focused mental state (for self hypnosis) easily.

For the binaural beats to work you must use stereo headphones.

Focusing your mind on what you want, with words and pictures, helps you slip new ideas and habits into your subconscious. So focusing on confidence and successful dating experiences it will become easier and easier for you to maintain that attitude in everyday life.

Listen to only one video at a time. Bookmark this page to do listen to these audios regularly for the most improvement.

This audio video is 9 minutes long and is designed to help you improve your confidence so you can attract more women.



This audio video is 15 minutes long and is designed to focus your thoughts on opening up more in relationships which will make more and more women want to continue dating you.

Dating Tips for Men: Use Self Confidence To Date More Women
by explorer9360

There Are Many Fish In The Sea

Many guys think they have to put all their effort to get one woman. They get stressed out when approaching women because they fear rejection yet there are beautiful women everywhere so if you meet a bunch of women then your chances of getting along with at least one is really large. From this perspective getting rejected is a blessing as you can move on to the next woman who may be more in sync with you.

Truly understanding that there are many fish in the sea means that you can meet tons of women with confidence and not care about 'getting' her. The type of seduction that involves getting a woman - every woman possible - reeks of desperation and insecurity. Real seduction is fun. You get along with the woman you are talking to. Women are very intuitive and know when they are being hit on so there is no question of 'secretly' seducing her. If she likes you and you act properly then you have high chances of getting a date.

Many men function from a poverty consciousness which assumes that there are very few women available and you have to struggle to get one and fear being rejected because that decreases the number of women you can meet and it just proves you are a loser. That sort of mentality can never really lead to fun and exciting dating but more of a needy type of dating experience.

There are so many women and these women are looking for men to date. So have fun, don't cling, always talk to many women and date allot. This will keep you from obsessing about one woman or relationship.

Having a sense of freedom when dating that 'I don't have to get this woman I'm with I can just have fun talking' is a quality that women find very attractive and can make you even more successful at dating.

How to Impress Your Date on the First Date

Do you still recall the time your first date turned out a disaster? How about the second date or maybe the third one? You underwent several first dates with so many people but they don't call you after that first night out. Now, you can stop moping in your room worrying that you'll end up as a spinster or a bachelor. There are many ways on how to keep your date hooked up on you. Below are just some of the things to keep in mind to let that phone ring right after the first rendezvous.

1. Dress for Comfort. The first rule when going out on a date, especially for first timers, is being comfortable. Start off with your dress. Even if it is better to create a good impression on your date by slipping into your slick black dress and stilettos, you won't earn a good mark if you keep on checking out your behind for possible panty lines. Dress for comfort and not just for a good impression. If you really find it awkward to put on something girly from the usual tees and sneakers you wear everyday, forget about the pointy shoes and opt for a flat pair of sandals or shoes for a stylish effect sans the pain in the legs. Before anything else, consider the place where you will be going. It is safer to ask your date where he plans to take you. You wouldn't want to be wearing a chic dress just to watch her favorite basketball game in a stadium, right?

2. Watch Your Manners. There is nothing more disgusting than the sight of your date stuffing food in his mouth one after the other. One major turn off is also a quick case of make up and lipstick retouch in the table. It's not a crime to excuse yourself for a while to go the powder room and do your deed. It isn't that you need to act like a princess when dining out with your date; just be conscious enough to know the do's and don'ts. Laughing your heart out when your date tells something which you find really funny is alright, but not to the point of spewing your food all over the table, more so on your date. Be natural, but be refined.

3. Be Interactive. Bear in mind that the first date is always the initial step in getting to know each other so grab all the opportunity you have to know the other person. Don't just sit there staring at your date the whole evening pretending to listen while you stifle a yawn. Talk. There are no rules or standard topics to talk about on a first date. Topics like embarrassing experience during your grade school or how miserable you were when your cat died are alright as long as you see that your date is interested and doesn't feel awkward with the topic. Seeing that you can talk anything under the sun without being a show off gives an impression that you are a spontaneous person, a plus factor.

4. Have Some Sense of Humor. There was never a study that humor kills so why stop the jokes? Just remember to keep it clean. Keep the ambiance light as much as possible to avoid tension in the air. The only way to avert the anxieties is to let out a few laughs by telling a funny story. Nevertheless, if you are not a born comedian, laughing to some of his jokes and funny stories usually do the trick. Guys love it when you laugh at their jokes.

5. Be Yourself. The top secret to making people like you is to show them the real you. Your date may find your boyish antics weird but he may find it cute thinking that you're a cowboy who can ride with his jokes, activities and someone he can tag along with the guys later.

6. Relax. Butterflies in the stomach, mice running in your heart and the nauseous feeling are normal when going on a first date with someone. However, if you do not loosen up, the worse case that could happen is you won't be able to say any sane thing to your date. Relax and remind yourself that you are on a date to enjoy, not to be stressed.

7. Be Appreciative. Before the night ends, take time to thank your date for spending time with you. You don't have fret, a kiss on a first date is not a must. On the other hand, if you really enjoyed the evening, a peck on the cheek is just fine to show your appreciation followed up by a short text message or phone call later to thank him again for the wonderful night.

The Art of Seduction (Paperback) by Robert Greene

This book shows how seduction has been used for power. Given the day and age we live in I think it is important to understand how seduction works. Because if you don't know you could get seduced by an illusion. If you are aware of tricks that can be played on you then you can also be aware of it and have the power of choice over being 'seduced'. 'Seduction' isn't sexual it's mental.

Another very important point to keep in mind is that the word 'seduction' is used generally in the book to the point where it means simply, 'getting what you want'. Sexual seduction is not the theme of the book. The theme is the approaches and behaviors that affect every human on a subconscious level. Thus this book provides an important look at one aspect of power and how it has been used historically.

What follows is reviews and an introduction that I wrote from the first 3 chapters of the book (kinda deep and boring, but if you can get into it the historical references seems to bring politics to life).


Editorial Reviews from Amazon:

From Library Journal

Touted as a "handbook on the most subtle and effective form of power" and "an indispensable primer on how to take what you want from whomever you want," this book is more than a little creepy. Following on the heels of his 48 Laws of Power, this book continues Greene's gross exploration of social power, this time in the realm of sexual politics. In Part 1, Greene, again paired with "packager" Joost Elffers (Play with Your Food), offers a straight-faced description of the nine types of seductive character, from the "Ideal Lover" to the "Rake." Elffers's contribution comes in the form of numerous quotes by famous contemporary and historical figures tucked into the side margins. Part 2 examines the process of seduction, subdivided into four phases, with chapter headings such as "Master the Art of Insinuation" and "Isolate the Victim." This book will have real appeal for power mongers, gold diggers, and heartless manipulators everywhere. Books such as Beverley East's Finding Mr. Write (LJ 5/1/00) and Jama Clark's What the Hell Do Women Really Want? (Island Flower, 1997) offer advice on the same subject without the distasteful exploitative emphasis. David Valencia, King Cty. Lib. Syst., WA
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist
Greene is the author of The 48 Laws of Power (1998), a compilation of quotes from throughout history that prescribe methods of obtaining and wielding power. He now adds seduction to the mix of stratagems for those who feel the need to scheme to get what they want. Given the popularity of so-called reality-based television programs, it is clear there is a large audience of such people. Greene, again providing quotes on his topic from philosophers, scientists, playwrights, and novelists, examines "the achievements of the greatest seducers throughout history" and profiles 10 seductive archetypes. Although the tactics Greene advises may be distasteful to some, his literary survey is fascinating. As was Greene's previous work, this one is billed as "A Joost Elffers Production." Elffers is identified--with no hint of embarrassment--as a book "packager." A "quote" from a Newsweek review of The 48 Laws is used to hype the new book, though the actual article in which the quote appeared challenged Greene's credentials as an editor and playwright and offered only lukewarm praise. David Rouse
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.


An Introduction Based On What I Read In The Book

The art of seduction is the art of getting what you want without fighting. In other words, in a successful seduction, the seducer gets everything he or she wants from the 'victim' willingly, to the point where the 'victim' goes out of their way to help the seducer get what he/she wants.

Of course, I am putting the word 'victim' in quotes because although the skillful seducer gets everything desired, the 'victim' doesn't necessarily feel victimized. In fact, in a good successful seduction, the victim never feels pressure but gives out of their own desire to please the seducer.

One somewhat unknown fact about seduction is that it's something created by women. Yes, the Don Juan's of the world are known as the great 'Seducers' but they did not create the art of seduction.

As explained in "The Art of Seduction" by Robert Green, in past times it was more common for men to be merciless and as a result women became almost helpless. Yes, she could entice a man but once a man gets sex she loses her power. This was overcome by women such as "Bathsheba, from the Old Testament; Helen of Troy; the Chinese siren Hso Shi; and the greatest of them all Cleopatra", who created seduction as a way to gain power.

In Cleopatra's case, after she was thrown out by the pharaoh (her brother/husband, as was the tradition there, then) she showed up at a meeting of another conqueror rolled up in a rug. When the rug was unrolled she stood up in stunning cloths and makeup. Everyone was speechless. That night Julius Caesar became her lover.

Cleopatra continued to dazzle Julius Caesar with sensual and visual delights, becoming the male fantasy figure that is an underlying part of all male psychology (more about that later). In other words, having sex with her wasn't enough, she created a desire to possess her. And when Caesar was most seeking her attention, she would withdraw and leave him wondering what he did wrong. Then he would strive to make things better thereby becoming more her slave everyday. She did reclaim her throne.

In the 17th century men appropriated women's techniques of appearance, style and dramatics and combined it with "soft words", which are a weak spot for women, to overcome their resistance to sex. This was an age when women had more freedom and choice. Many of these seducers were Spaniards from which the Don Juan legend sprung.

In our times women are treated less like property, giving them a sexual and political freedom that they haven't had in an average of 4000 years (2000 yrs in Europe and 6000 yrs in the middle east -approx- matriarchies dominated before then). So of course previous tactics of getting a women, such as arranged marriages and as part of business or political deals has ceased to work. (At least, in the west).

This means that now more than ever, seduction has become a key method of gaining power. Simply because seduction is a part of life and business it doesn't mean you have to get caught up in it. Yet knowing how to act with a potential business partner is also the art of seduction.

Can seduction skills help anyone? Yes. If you are not good looking, it simply doesn't matter. You can still seduce successfully. Cleopatra was plain looking but her use of make up made her extraordinary, by being able to capture the male fantasy figure in her persona; which is nothing new, women know this today just as Neanderthal women knew about it in their time,(Primitive Mythology By Joseph Campbell).

Gabriele D'Annunzio, was a journalist in the 1880's in Roman society, who was so ugly that men didn't care if he talked with their wives. But when he talked to women, some said it was like church bells, other said it was hypnotic, and still others claimed he would transform into the God Apollo. He knew just how to flatter a woman, suggesting sex and romance without necessarily doing anything, making their hearts flutter. He married the daughter of a Duchess and continued to grow is social and literary stature through the help of powerful women.

For women, for whom marriage was like slavery, found excitement and pleasure in the idea of a man who was totally absorbed in them and with whom they could let go of the huge social role of civility, commitment and loyalty that she is expected to maintain in society. At a lecture I attended, I actually heard a successful 'intellectual' claim, with complete assurance, that "chastity is a woman's greatest virtue", which underlines the role she is expected to play.

The seducer offers her a break from conventional reality and she is a willing victim. Just as a man is when faced with a 'Marilyn Monroe' like persona, who stimulates him in a way that is very powerful and effective.




The Image That Has Been Used Historically To Seduce Men: "The Siren"

" A man is often secretly oppressed by the role he has to play, always having to be responsible, in control, and rational. The Siren is the ultimate make fantasy figure because she offers a total release from the limitations of his life. In her presence, which is always heightened and sexually charged, the male feels transported to a world of pure pleasure. She is dangerous, and in pursuing her energetically the man can lose control over himself, something he yearns to do. The Siren is a mirage; she lures men by cultivating a particular appearance and manner. In a world where women are often too timid to project such an image, learn to take control of the male libido by embodying his fantasy." By Robert Greene from The Art Of Seduction

In the works by the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung, the image that a man projects onto a woman is called 'the anima' , this is considered to be the feminine part of the male psyche, repressed by society, which is projected onto a female who can best 'carry' this anima image. The same principle applies to women but the repressed part of the psyche that provides material for the projected image is called 'animus'.

Now, how does this apply to seduction? Quite simply, by understanding what the deepest desires and fantasies of a man or woman, you can purposely embody those images thereby creating a powerful attraction which leads to the seduction(social or sexual - or both). You can also know when it is being used on you.

One way of embodying a man's fantasies is to be theatrical. Not in a tacky way by elegantly but with a shocking visual intensity. Cleopatra, provided endless distractions to her lovers (two successive rulers of Rome), with expeditions, plays, orgies, a complete break from the 'the normal' so the man was completely captivated with her. He worshipped her.

The other aspect of embodying a man's fantasies is shown by Marylyn Monroe's, , images who oozes a sexual innocence. I.e. she seems sexual but naive about it. This creates the need in a man to take care of her, never realizing that it is her in charge.

In Marilyn's case she probably felt abandoned from childhood and when she discovered her developing breasts were pulling in attention from boys, an attention she craved, she spent years honing her look. Later when she tried to land more serious roles she found it extremely difficult as her need to be liked created a vulnerability she could not control. This vulnerability is what caused men to fall in love with her, so was a source of her power.

Both Cleopatra and Marylyn Monroe captured a man's imagination and allowed him to lose control. They also embodied an aspect of danger which the male mind finds very seductive as he craves adventure, action and 'newness'. A woman who is dating a man and then relaxes. I.e. doesn't entertain her man, doesn't wear makeup and act seductive etc, WILL lose his attention. Not because he has ceased to care for her but because the stimulation that turns him on isn't there. How often have powerful men suddenly fallen by succumbing to a dangerous liaison? (think Bill Clinton).

Basically, culture and society imposes a role on every one of its members. There are roles specifically for men and women as well as different segments of society. A person fulfills these roles by suppressing those aspects of the psyche that are not socially acceptable. Over time these aspects of the psyche gain power and become, what Carl Jung called, the shadow. This means a non introspective person, who is not into personal development, can get sidelined by repressed desire from his or her shadow that bring them down in the prime of their life/career, or just cause a lot of problems.



The Image That Has Been Used Historically To Seduce Women: 'The Rake'


"A woman never quite feels desired and appreciated enough. She wants attention, but a man is often distracted and unresponsive. The Rake is a great female fantasy figure; when he desires a woman, brief though that moment may be, he will go to the ends of the earth for her. He may be disloyal, dishonest, and amoral, but that only adds to his appeal. Unlike the normal, cautious male, the Rake is delightfully unrestrained, a slave to his love of women. There is the added lure of his reputation: so many women have succumbed to him, there has to be a reason. Words are a woman's weakness, and the Rake is a master of seductive language. Stir a woman's repressed longings by adapting the Rakes mix of danger and pleasure." The Art of Seduction By Robert Greene

The effect that striking physical beauty has on men is replicated on women by 'intense desire'. A woman loves attention (of which compliments are a subset). In fact, she can't get enough attention. She always wants more. So if a man gives her his complete attention, with strong desire in his eyes, she will be attracted to him; almost always. She may repress that desire, or the man may say something that turns her off, but the attraction will exist.

A man who will overcome intense obstacles just to be with one woman while other women crave to be with him, is a big turn on to women.

This is the power of the rake. He is smart, funny sarcastic and able to communicate well in fact in his language he can charm a woman with sensual or sexual undertone, without ever being explicit.

Most women notices slight changes in body language and facial expression. So, subtle flattery and sexual suggestion is more appropriate to most women's sensibilities.

One great rake of history was Duke De Richelieu, who smuggled letters and dug a tunnel to get to a young woman being intentionally protected from him by her uncle. For another woman he crawled across a thin plank to get from his window to hers.

Having obstacles lights a flame of desire to overcome in the heart of a rake. His perseverance to get to the woman to whom he professes his uncontrollable love for is almost irresistible to a woman.

The fact that he could be with any woman and his steadfastly pursuing her, adding excitement to a boring day-to-day life is one of the greatest powers of the rake that makes a woman fall for him.

A woman is often deeply repressed by the social roles she is expected to play. The rake with his sarcasm and amoral attitude allows a woman to experience excitement and to feel a little danger, which is a big relief from her daily life.

Qualities needed to be a successful rake; superb confidence, witty sarcastic sense of humor, artful conversational skills, combined with a complete indifference of other's expectations of you. In other words, a cocky, devil may care attitude works well with women.

Knowing this information helps you understand the kind of 'seductive play' that happens all around us. Women who are naturally good looking can embody the image of a siren for a man and he could get caught up in an image. Same thing can happen to a woman when faced with the traditional 'bad boy'. i.e. you can can seduced by an image EVEN when a person is not trying to seduce anyone. That is how powerful this information is.

Tips On Body Language for Successful Flirting

Male and female courtship signals have been studied, and the basic conclusions are that these signals are completely unconscious. The more you consciously understand the signals, the better and more successful you will be when courting the object of your desire, whether it is the man or woman of your dreams.

To master the art of successful flirting, you have to feel good about yourself first. Be confident. Be yourself, or else you will look deceitful or desperate. Flirting can be utilized in just about anything, not just in attracting the opposite sex, but also in attaining just about anything you want in your life. This can be described as good flirting. Good flirting should be done with a precise understanding of what you really want, coupled with positive sensations.

Here are their tips on how you can put good flirting to your advantage:

1. Don't worry about whether you are making a good impression or not. Instead, analyze how you can make the other person feel good. By doing this, you will get the feedback you are expecting. Soon you will make the connection.

2. Flirting can help you make friends or impress a client if you make yourself approachable. Put a smile on your face, as it gives you an aura of being friendly.

3. Remember that you cannot attract people just by sitting or standing like a statue. There will be instances when you will encounter a person who gets a little bit too close for comfort feel, or someone who makes you feel you are already invading privacy. No matter what you do, you would get a so-called "vacuum" reaction. Tough one, huh? You can avoid this by using gentle moves and by calibrating the person's reactions to you. Be aware of these signals: mouths get larger, the lips swell, eyes widen, pupils dilate, skin flushes and changes color, muscles around the mouth move, among others.

4. Be persistent. Flirting works best when you are patient. By being such, you will have room for improvement if at first you aren't getting the results you want. If you fail the first time, do it again the second time, third time, just keep trying. Try different approaches until you realize what will really work best for you. If you were rejected, don't give up. This goes with the sayings, "To err is human" and "Nobody's perfect."

5. This is probably for me the most interesting and somehow funniest tip I got: "Practice in the mirror, only then can you make it perfect!" This is especially true in meeting friends and prospects, because flirting may involve unwanted actions and attention which can put you in the bad light. You may be spontaneous in your actions, but you can't guard yourself if you are already overdoing it, and I supposed you don't want to be in that situation. Try practicing with your close friends and ask for feedback.

6. Make the first move! Opportunities knock only once, so if you want something or even someone, go for it, now! Let go of your inhibitions. But remember to apply positive or good flirting. Who knows if the person you meet at that moment is your gateway towards the fulfillment of your dreams.

Signs Of Flirtation For Dating Success

To improve your dating success learn how to read body language. Body language can tell you when someone finds you interesting. Sometimes improving our dating success is learning how to tell if someone is interested. Here are some signals of flirtation.

If you meet a stranger, in a business conference, for instance, you look at them in a zigzag manner. You look from one eye to the other, and across the bridge of her or his nose. If you look at a friend you take your eyes below eye level, peering at them in the shape of a triangle, not only looking from eye to eye but also looking at their mouth and nose. If, however, you are flirting, you increase the area of your triangle, widening at the bottom to take in more of her or his body, and will move our gaze more intently from one eye to the other. You'll also look more at the person's mouth. If you see this pattern, especially if she or he is looking often at your mouth, it's a flirt. That person may be longing to kiss you.

Recognizing these habits can help you in your reading body language and can improve your dating success.

If you want to do your own sort of body language to improve dating success and let the recipient read you, try mirroring what he or she does. Do whatever that person you're flirting with does. When he leans into you to talk, lean towards him. If she sits back, sips her drink and looks right into your eyes, pause a bit and then do exactly the same. This reading of body language and then mirroring it is supposed to improve dating success because people like people who are like them. If you and they are doing the same things, then that person with whom you are flirting is apt to think you are on her or his wave length and in the same mood.

There are a couple of cautions with this body language, though. It won't improve your dating success if the person is reading your body language as mimicking or making fun of. What you want to do is capture the basic spirit of what she or he is doing, and only mirror positive interaction. In general, you'll want to wait nearly one minute before you read her or his body language and respond with the same mannerisms.

Reading body language can require practice, and to improve your dating success you'll have to be very observant. One of the indicators, for example, that someone finds you appealing lasts less than a second. It's the eyebrow rise. When a person sees someone he or she finds attractive his eyebrows rise and then fall. It's an unconscious habit and happens no matter what country or culture you're in. If the other person might be trying to improve her or his dating success by reading your body language you might try holding your raised eyebrows for a second or two, and give her or him the message you are interested.

The trick is to watch for it when you meet someone you fancy. Better still, tell them you're interested on a subconscious level by prolonging your eyebrow flash for up to one second - deliberately raise them while catching their eye for full impact

The following is a news report that goes into more detail...